I had to kill him. I had no choice, he asked for it. Trust
me he did.
I still remember his warm hand wrapped around mine. I can't
have that sensation tonight, even with the warmth of his blood on my hands.
It's not that he was an asshole, quite the opposite really, he was a good man.
I might have killed him but I am not a bitch either. It was late afternoon and
he was dozing in the bedroom after what could be the last meal of his life. I
walked gingerly into the room. Standing beside the bed I looked at him sleeping
and found myself torn. There had to be another way out of this.
She walked in behind me and sensed my resolve running like the
jelly in to my legs. She placed her hand on my shoulder and nodded, showing me I
had to be strong. "It's time junior." she whispered in my ear. She
was right, it had to be done. She handed me a handkerchief soaked in
chloroform. I took a deep breath and pressed it on his face with all the force
that I could gather. I knew he was a light sleeper and as he startled awake I saw
the shock in his eyes. "What the fuck are you doing?" he screamed. He
grabbed at my hand and tried to free up his face. I kept the pressure on. After
about half a minute of struggle he was able to push me away. By then though the
fumes had started to play their games. He got up from the bed, finding it hard
to keep his eyes open, and his legs shaking.
She had so far watched the scene calmly standing with her
back to the wall but at that moment she pounced on him and crashed her right
knee between his legs. He crumpled back onto the bed, unconscious, shock and
chloroform doing their work. We stood there for the next few minutes,
motionless, her hand placed on my shoulder calming my nerves down. As my
breathing slowed she handed me an ice pick. "Go ahead. This is the only
way out."
I closed my eyes and once again gathered force from all the corners
of my body and rammed the ice pick in to his neck. As I opened my eyes I saw the
pick was buried four inches deep. Some vestigial urge for life shocked him
awake but he was already dead, he just hadn't realized. Maybe the drugs had
slowed down the impulse that told him to die. Blood spurted like a natural spring.
She dragged me out of that room. She didn't want me to see him die. We went
back to the bedroom after a couple of hours. We spent the entire evening and
night cleaning up the room. Blood, I tell you is not an easy thing to wash
away. It takes more than bleach to wash away someone’s life.
She left at 4 am. After she left I cut the body in seven
pieces. Two legs, two arms, one hand, the head and torso. I stored the parts in
my refrigerator like a busy day at the supermarket. By now the sun was out and
I was already late for work. You must be wondering how just five feet of a
skinny woman like myself could gather the strength and courage to kill a man
with such disdain. As you saw I was not alone and for your kind information I'm
a surgeon as well and that helps. More importantly, it was not the first time
that I killed a man.
--
I am twenty seven. My name is Raatri Sanyal. And just like
you I had no say in the family that I was born in. The Sanyals are a family of
doctors. You aren't a Sanyal unless you are a doctor. I'm not kidding, everyone
in my family is a doctor. My grandparents, my parents, uncles & aunts. Even
our house maid could write a prescription for the most common ailments. All the
god damn Sanyals are doctors including myself. I never met one who wasn't. When
I was nine I learned about an uncle of mine who had married a teacher. I had
never heard of him before because he was no longer from our family. He was the
Lord Voldemort of our family - he-who-must-not-be-named.
I had two elder brothers. We were fourteen and eleven years
apart. By the time I attained puberty the eldest one had started his own
practice and the younger one was on his way to becoming a heart surgeon. My
fate was sealed at birth, as soon as Sanyal was added to my Birth Certificate,
they may as well have added Dr. I'd be a doctor one day. I thought I knew it
even before I could spell the word doctor.
I knew myself better at thirteen and realized that one day I
would become the black sheep of my family. The day I was told that there are
two hundred and six bones in a normal human skeleton, the most exciting information
for me was two hundred six. While some idiots in my class were worried about
the constituents of a human bone, I wondered how God had arrived at that
number. Why not two zero eight or two zero four? The human body is symmetrical
so that implied one hundred three bones on one side. One zero three. That's a
prime number. 27th prime number. 27 is 3 cubed.Was there some hidden agenda in there?
As you might have
guessed this question of mine was snubbed as soon as it was raised. All I
needed to know was what the number was. Morons!
--
My journey started with my first crush. My Mathematics
teacher. Sahil Kumar Shastri. I was in Vth standard when I learned the formula
for a + b whole square. It was him who in his smooth cursive had explained the
formula to a class of thirty people. "The three two's" he had said.
To this date I still can’t say whether my heart fell for him
because I had a thing for Mathematics or whether it was the other way round. My
love for the subject didn't necessarily mean that I was good at the subject. In
fact I sucked at it, I still do. It's a very strange relationship that I
developed with the subject because of him. In my class a lot of students used
to dread Mathematics. I used to as well and then came Mr Shastri. A knight in
the shining armour.
No, he wasn't able to make me any better in Mathematics. I
remained a resounding dud but I wasn't afraid of it anymore. I was far from his
favourite student and yet I don't think anyone waited for the Maths class as I
used to. No matter how hard I tried I barely scored enough to pass. I knew he
didn't like me, his attention limited to the brilliant ones. It pissed me off.
I wanted to hate him. However his rasping voice that made the numbers sound
like soul music would melt the anger away.
I couldn't make sense of the formulas but did understand the
most important voice, the beat of my heart. Someone who was afraid of heights
was now finding solace on the edge of a roof top. For two years I tried my best
to win his attention but it never worked. My last resort was to simply not
complete my homework. It led to his wrath but at least I got the attention. He never
understood my feelings despite of all my efforts. Then he dropped the bomb. The
bastard decided to move to another school. How could he do that? He decided to
move to another city simply because he was being paid higher bucks. What about
me? I was heartbroken when I was told that he would be replaced.
On his penultimate day at my school he visited our class for
the last time. He wished us all good luck. I waited, but he never even glanced
at me, his eyes stuck with his favourite bunch, the 90+ lot. I had a storm
brewing inside of me. It was that moment that the idea came to me.
The next day he was found dead in teacher's room, eyes open,
white froth protruding from his mouth. A snake bite. No one knew how a snake
got in there, no one but me. I had no choice. He had forced me.
--
The scar of his disappearance remained but the wound healed.
It wasn't the clichéd time that did the trick, it was Abhay, Shastri's favourite
student. In fact every one's favourite, he was Mr 100, the leader of the 90+
lot, a typical annoying front bencher who would raise a hand to every question.
He was the brightest kid in the school, possibly the town, brilliant in every
subject, extraordinary in Maths and I thought he smelt of nothing but arrogance.
He filled the gaping hole that had remained since Shastri
left me. It all started a couple of years after Shastri had that unfortunate
accident. The school Principal, a dumb ass, a Hitler who had every student
pissing in their pants when he passed by, an ugly old and bald man with
thousands of hair on his ears came up with a brilliant idea, an idea to improve
the weak students, weak students like me. Make the dumb sit with the bright
ones. The dumb won't remain dumb.
What a joke! I hated the idea. Didn't he care about the
intelligent minds? What if they got poisoned? No matter how much I hated the
situation in the beginning I realized it wasn't that bad an idea two weeks
after sitting with Abhay. Abhay was everything you would want your bench-mate not to
be, especially if he or she is a smart ass. Of course he hated the idea of
sitting with a lowly moron like me as much as I did when it was announced. My
feelings though had a completely different plan. They started traversing an
unpredictable trajectory at a rapid pace.
I knew he hated me from day one, after all he was Shastri's
disciple. Have you ever been with someone and they acted as if you weren't
there, that you were nothing but vapourware that they couldn't see? Do you know
the feeling? Maybe you don't, maybe you remember being on the other side of
this equation, ignoring and whistling your way to glory. My heart burned. I
wanted to talk to him, wanted him to hold my hand, to tell me that he'll help
me in Mathematics, share my lunch with him. I wanted to be more than thin air.
The arrogant bastard paid no heed. Did I ask for too much?
--
The Xth final examination was a month away. My parents had
already picked the subjects that I would be opting for in XIth. No points for
guessing. They were also busy finding the tuitions that I would need to attend
in the three month break after the exams. For the last fifteen years I had
lived with a time bomb ticking in my heart. I had never questioned them ever
but it was time, even if it was pointless.
"I don't want to be a doctor." I dropped the bomb
on the dinner table.
"What do you mean you don't want to be a doctor? Do you
know how much money we have spent on your education?" my father asked
lividly.
"I never asked you to."
Even as it left my lips I braced myself for the inevitable onslaught.
"How dare you talk to dad like that?" my eldest
brother joined the party. He got up from his chair and rushed towards me jabbing
his finger.
"Hey, stop. She's probably just stressed out because of
the exams." my other brother intervened. Ajit always took my side. "You are lucky that your grandfather is out of town.
You know how angry he'd be if he had heard that. Now go to bed. I don't want to
talk about it again." my dad said and that was that. I was not going to
get into a pointless debate with them. There was no way around them. I had to
go down the dark path.
--
You'd laugh at what happened after that. I failed. Yes, I
could only score a twenty three in my Maths exam. It sounds funny now, it
sounded funny then. Raatri Sanyal, granddaughter of the most respected doctor
in town, sister of a future award winning heart surgeon, a future surgeon
herself, who claimed Mathematics to be her favourite subject had flunked in
that very subject.
Not surprisingly I got the thrashing of my life. No, it
wasn't my father, it was my elder brother. My father simply decided to not to
talk to me. It could have ended there but for my brother who had a habit of
acting like he was my father. Apart from some not so very nice words, I got a
swollen face, no dinner that night and was locked in a room.
I had never cried as much as I did that day. I was in pain
and vulnerable. It all seemed so worthless at that point in time. The thought
of ending my life was playing in my mind but there was one last hope, one last raft
that I could cling on to. I picked up the phone and dialled.
"Hello, Can I speak with Abhay?"
"Yes, can you please hold." a male voice said. It
must have been his dad. Loud music played in the background.
"Hello, before you congratulate me, may I know whose
this."
"Congratulate you for what?"
"What do you mean for what? For scoring hundred percent
in Mathematics. Who are you?"
I put the phone down. I understood what was going on, he was
celebrating his hundred. Can you believe that? I knew he didn't care much about
me but the least he could have done on that day was to not go out and singing
his glory song. Yes, I was going to end a life, his.
There was no other option. While he celebrated what would be
the last hundred of his life, I was busy hatching the plan. There was a new hunger
inside of me. Whatever I did it had to be swift. A snake bite was the first
thing that played in my mind but it was not a viable idea. First, last time I
had been lucky to have found a snake in the garden. Second, even if I searched
for a snake and found it, it would be too much of a coincidence.
No problem. I would use the very thing all this had been
about. Belonging to a family of doctors, you get to know many ways to kill that
others don't. I thought of all the possible ways to get rid of the bastard.
--
I was fed and set free in the morning by my younger brother.
In the family of tyrants, Ajit was the only one who had emotions. I loved him.
There was no one who understood me better than him. He was the only one who had
never forced anything upon me. I felt at times that just like me he didn't want
to be a doctor but had given up to an authoritative father. May be that's why
he understood me so well. "It's OK sister, it happens."
He held my hand tight. He always did when I felt down. He
was always there.
"I'm sorry for what happened. Please forgive me."
I said sobbing.
"It's OK. I'll talk to dad. You'll have to promise me
that you will do your best this year. A rebel will not survive in this
family." he said. I nodded.
"Why don't you come to the hospital with me?"
The hospital where my younger brother was learning practice,
the same hospital where I would practice many years later wasn't very far away
from our house.
"What will I do there?"
"You shouldn't be at home alone, no one will be home
for hours."
"I'm going to be very busy today but still I think it's
a good idea for you to come with me."
My mind was still sifting for that perfect idea and I wanted
to be alone but I couldn't say no to him. We walked, the cool breeze calming
down my mind. He did not take me to his office, instead he left me in the canteen.
He told the waiter there to take care of me and handed me the remote control of
a TV that was attached to a pillar. "Don't worry about me. You do your
work, I won't disturb you."
"Send the waiter if you need me."
"Go now, you are getting late."
--
My mind got into action immediately after he had left. What
better place than somewhere dedicated to life, to find death? The irony made
the idea even more delicious. I got up and headed towards the elevator and the
third floor.
The hospital was not new to me. My brother had taken me
there before. I took a left and walked for a little bit to find myself in front
of a long hallway with rooms to the left and right. I was confident that I
would find what I was looking for in one of those rooms. The operation theatres were all on the third floor. I was
told once by my brother that potassium chloride is at times used in heart surgery.
I had no clue though where would I find it.
The commotion that erupted on the floor behind me was caused
by an urgent surgery that had to take place. I saw my brother with a bunch of
young doctors, all being led by a short man. He must have been a senior doctor
at the hospital. There were a couple of nurses in the party as well. I rushed towards
the first door I could get to in the hallway. Locked. My heart was pounding.
I rushed towards the next one. Locked again. I got lucky with
the third room to the right. The door opened. There was a nurse in there
pulling up the curtains. The room was not very well lit and it worked in my
favour. I tiptoed towards the left and hid myself behind a medical instrument
that looked like a Xerox machine.
The nurse switched off the lights and moved towards the
door. Panicking I realized she was going to lock the door from outside. What
was I supposed to do? To my utter surprise she didn't go out and proceeded to lock
the door from inside.
--
"Come out. I know you are there."
"Shit, I'm dead. Even Ajit is not going to be on my
side now." I thought. I inched out from behind the machine. Isn't it silly
when we do that, like the inevitable terror will just get bored and walk away?
The room was dark and I could just make out her silhouette.
She moved towards the bed and turned a lamp on. She was a plump lady in her
early forties. "Come here and sit."
I moved towards the bed and sat at its edge. "You seem
to be in distress junior. Shall I get some water for you?" she asked. "Please don't tell anyone that you found me here. My
brother works here in this hospital. I just lost my way and got myself into
this room."
"Don't worry. I'm your friend. Tell me what's troubling
you. You are looking for something, aren't you?" she said caressing my
hair. The tears started to roll on my cheeks. She sat beside me and put her
arms around my shoulders. "Let those tears flow, don't worry. I will not
tell anyone that you were here. It's OK. Cry. Let it all out."
I placed my head on her shoulder and cried for longer than I
thought possible. I didn't know her but for some reason I felt the safer than I
ever had with my head placed on her shoulder, her sleeves moist with my tears.
No inhibitions, no insecurities, no fears, no baggage, you can let it all out
on a stranger's shoulder. I didn't know when the tears dried up and when I
slept.
--
I woke up with a heavy head. The room was completely lit now.
She was standing there like an angel watching me sleep. I wasn't sure of the
time. What all had I said in my moment of weakness? I got up from the bed.
"Please don't tell anyone. I must leave now. My brother will be worried if
he goes looking for me and doesn't find me in the canteen."
"Don't worry. I'm on your side. You are not alone. In
this cruel world, no matter what happens, no matter where you are, always
remember, I will be with you." she said. There was something about those
words. It was one of those moments when time stops flowing. You can feel
yourself flowing through the time. It's when you can separate yourself from the
fourth dimension of the world. I had no idea of what I had said that had made
this strong connection. I stood there, motionless.
"You should go now but before you go, there is
something I need to give you."
"Junior, they call me Miss Gonsalves. Come here any
time you need any help. You will find me." she said handing a small brown
paper bag to me.
Worrying about the time I rushed to the canteen, not even
stopping to check the bag. I opened it up once I got back to the canteen. I
couldn't believe what I saw inside. Was it really what I thought it was? The
hair on the back of my neck rose. I could hear my heart beat. I closed the
small bad and put it in my pocket. Sweat trickled from my forehead. With my
heart thumping louder than ever I waited for my brother.
--
Two things happened the next day. One, the sense of insecurity
that had engulfed me all my life disappeared. Whoosh. Two, Abhay the dog died.
Whoosh. No one ever found out why someone would poison such a bright student.
Some people suspect jealousy, but they were wrong. It was love.
--
By the time I got into the final year of medical college and
started my clinical rotations my life had changed significantly. There was only
one person responsible for this drastic change. Miss Gonsalves. She was the
mentor I had missed all my life. She was not someone who would impose herself
upon me and yet she paved the way forward for me. She was the one whom I relied
upon for anything and everything. If not for her I wouldn't have even passed my
exam to get into the medical college.
She was a mother, a teacher, a friend, a bodyguard, a shoulder,
a touch, a hug, an ear, all at the same time. She was my strength every time I
felt the world was not worth it. She was always there, unconditionally. It was
because of her that I was no longer the door mat I used to be. She gave me the
sole that helped me trample all who got in my way.
I was a self-confident woman, even if I appeared to leading
a life my parents wanted me to lead. I wasn't the brightest but Ajit helped me
get into the hospital. The bonus of course was that now I could spend more time
with Miss Gonsalves.
Why was she so kind to me? Why was she that possessive about
me? I thought of the day I had met her often and tried to remember what was it
that I told her that aroused this unconditional love. Every time we were
together I had thought of asking that question but could never find the
courage. Fearing that asking the question would lead to her realizing this was
all a mistake and I would be alone again. I was confident, but only because she
was there.
It's something that I still haven't understood. Many times I
asked her about the story of her life but she didn't want to discuss any of
that. My brother told me once that she was a single mother who had raised his
son singlehandedly. The son however married against her wishes and had left her
all alone. That was all he knew. My brother was a married man now. The place we
had for each other in our lives had been overtaken but we still loved each
other. He was the only man I trusted. He had moved out from our parent's house.
He knew that I wouldn't survive in that suffocating place without him. I moved along
with him and his wife Sunita.
--
I forgot to mention an important detail. I had killed two
more men. Why they lost their lives is not important. They asked for it. They
were no different than Shastri and Abhay. They deserved it. Obviously Miss
Gonsalves had helped me.
I had never broached the topic of her son. I was
rushing home one day late in the evening when she asked me to stay in the
hospital, not something unusual, she often asked me. "I want you to do me
a favour." she said holding my hand. "If you can't help me it's OK,
just tell me".
"Please tell me. You know I'd do anything for
you."
"I have always wished for my son to be dead. Will you
make my wish come true? I want you to kill my son."
"OK."
How cold had I become in her company? Was it her company or
was it about who I was? She had probably just touched the right chords. I never
gave it a second thought. It was done. That was the only option. The count
stood at five.
--
"You should get married."
I was happy in my own world and wasn't really looking
forward to get married. I had fallen in love once again after Abhay and the boy
was dead now. She was however adamant that I should find the right partner.
Ajit had found some matches for me, I never wanted to meet anyone but she
persisted.
"It is important to find the right partner in life. I'm
not going to be around all the time. Now I don't know what you think you want
but I do know what you want. The guy who makes your heart swoop the first time
you meet is not the guy you want to marry."
I took that advice and started going through the list of
boys that Ajit had prepared.
--
I met him after a couple of dull meetings with boys who I
thought were intimidated by my confidence. He not only swooped my heart but
blew my mind away. Not at the first sight though. Samar came across as a timid
character when I first met him. He lacked the confidence to be able to carry
the conversation he should have lead. Slim, average height, average looking,
short hair, flat faced, a small nose, black eyed and a curious look on his
face. It took him five minutes to pick the coffee he wanted to order. He was an
engineer and was working with a reputed IT company. For the first fifteen
minutes we sat there like idiots looking in different directions, me waiting
for the conversation to start, he waiting for the world to end.
"I'm sorry. I have never been in a situation like this
before." he finally broke the silence. I smiled.
"Guess not everything in life can be faced like a
Mathematics exam."
"Mathematics exam?"
"I feel like it's an exam today for both of us. You
will judge me. Have you already started giving me points? I always wondered why
my friends pissed in their pants before Maths exam. I now know. This, right
here is my Maths exam." he said sheepishly. His shyness along with the ability
to speak out his heart got to my heart.
After that meeting we met again a couple of times and
settled it. We were going to get married. It was not love but we were certain that
love was waiting for us on the other side of the marriage.
--
Something extraordinary happened three months before the
marriage. It was something straight from Ripley’s Believe it or Not. I vividly
remember the day. It was one of those days that you don't keep a record of, at
least that's the way it started. Late afternoon, I was at home going through a
routine clean-up exercise when Ajit returned.
"Can you get me some water?"
I rushed to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water to him.
"Sunita is going to be late today."
"Do you know who she operated yesterday?" he
asked.
"Who?"
"Do you remember your Mathematics teacher? Mr
Shastri."
Shastri! Of course I did. "Yes I do. Someone in his
family got admitted?"
"No. He suffered a massive heart attack couple of days
ago and needed a surgery."
The glass almost slipped out of my hand. "How can that
be? He died several years ago when I was in 7th."
"Shastri died when you were in 7th? Are you out of your
mind? He was my Maths teacher as well. I saw him today. You are possibly mistaking
him for someone else."
--
I rushed to the hospital after my brother got to his room.
My brother surely was out of his wits. Dead people don't
suffer from heart attacks, especially after ten years. I believe in ghosts but
they don't suffer from heart attacks either. My heart was pounding and my mind
raced back to the day when he had died.
He was leaving the next day and I was furious at him. How
could he do that? I couldn't even breathe that evening. I came out from my
house to fill in my lungs with fresh air. I was in the backyard garden. The sun
was about to set when my eyes fell upon a green coloured snake. My sinister
mind didn't need any further invitations.
It was a beast of a reptile, at least one and a half feet
long. I tip toed towards it. It would become my first weapon. The snake remained
still, unaware of my presence. My legs on either side, I stood right on top of
it. In one swift motion I got the damn thing by its neck. The resolve to kill
Shastri had blown away any fear that I should have had. My little friend turned
out to be very supportive. It made no attempt to set itself free. I pulled it
up and rushed inside.
I emptied the contents of my school bag with my left hand
and shoved my green friend in. It curled around calmly as if waiting for its
time to come.
The next day I hid myself in the teacher's room and waited
for Shastri to make an appearance. At the right time, when he was alone in the
room, I got the snake out from my bag, and came out from the hiding. He didn't even
get the time to react. I threw the snake at him. It fell on his left shoulder,
curled around his neck and bit him twice, first on his cheek and then the
forehead. Did I err by not staying there to see his end?
--
"How can he be alive?" I asked. Miss Gonsalves had
of course heard about him before. She was perplexed as well. "Don't worry
junior. If it's really him, we will settle it once and for all."
"Wait here. I will be back in a hour." she said
looking at her watch. I passed the next one hour counting the ticks of the wall
clock to get my mind away from Shastri.
She came back with a small handbag
hanging on her shoulders. "Let's go."
She led me to the single rooms located on the fifth floor of
the hospital and stopped in front of a room. "Be quiet. Let's see if it is
really him."
She used her key to open the door and opened it up slowly. I
walked in slowly. The man on the bed was fast asleep, his face half tucked with
in the blanket. I had no problem recognizing him however. He was Shastri. I was
jolted, feeling an electric shock pass through my veins. How could he be here?
I looked at Miss Gonsalves worriedly. My head was spinning. She put her finger
on her lips asking me to be quiet.
She put her left hand in the handbag and with a jerk got a
snake out of it. This one was coloured steel grey. She held it from the neck
and handed it over to me. I was startled looking at the snake in my hand. It was
shorter than the one I had held several years ago. I got it close to me and
looked in its eyes. They were screaming out loud at me, asking me to do it all
over again. I walked towards the bed and slipped the reptile under the blanket.
Whoever the man was, Shastri, his lookalike, his ghost, his
shadow, was dead. It left me in a state of bewilderment for quite some time
though. If not for Miss Gonsalves, I would have probably broken down. Samar was
of no help. We hardly met as I found myself spending more and more time in the
hospital. Things were getting back to normal. The marriage was only a month
away.
--
"Miss Gonsalves died in an accident."
My brother dropped another bomb. My world came tumbling down
in front of me. I felt like a hand passed through my skin, pounced upon my
heart and pulled it out. Before the tears could come out I crashed on to the
floor and passed out.
I woke up and found myself in a room. It didn't take me long
to realize that I was in my hospital. My heart was aching badly. I wanted to
cry but the tears won't come out. Going back to my unconscious state seemed to
be the only way. How was I to live in this cruel world without her lap? It was
a brutal joke that God had played with me. I lied awake on the bed consoling
myself for a long time.
I heard a voice from outside the room. It was Ajit. I walked towards the door. "I understand your
decision. I don't want to keep you in dark either. You shouldn't marry
her. I will explain it to her."
To this date I haven't understood why Ajit and Samar ganged
up against me. I was thinking of them as my support system after Miss
Gonsalves. It's a savage world that we live in. I had lost my will to live. I
came back to my bed. Darkness engulfed me, completely.
--
The creak of the door woke me up. She walked in smiling at
me. Miss Gonsalves! I couldn't believe my eyes. I jumped out of my bed.
Finally, the tears rolled down. "They told me that you died."
She put her hand on my head and kissed my forehead.
"They lied. Don't you worry junior, we will deal with both of them."
"Look what I got for you she said holding an ice pick in her
hand. "Ajit will be at home this afternoon."
"What about Samar?"
"Yes junior. He will also get the last lesson of his
life soon. Go to sleep now."
I held her tight, and slept with the scent of her body.
--
"It's time." she said waking me up.
--
